Oh my what a week! I have been searching and wondering how I am I going to get all this done. This is a VERY BUSY time for our business, work, travel, long hours…etc. I have fallen short in several areas. I have come to realize that I can do the best I can do at any point and time. If I don’t meet all required expectations put on by myself or others, am I a failure? My mind battles with this. However, overall I have come to the conclusion NO! I haven’t given up. I am putting my best foot forward. I am living the applications that we are reading. So I just keep keeping on.
I will say that I have spent the last 20 years not dreaming very much probably enough to keep thought that things maybe, might, sorta could be different one day! You know what I mean? So this interview paper has been tough. I am praying that the job site and town I will be in has Wi-Fi to be able to post it by this evening…
Well here we are at week 4! I really enjoyed watching and learning from the video about the physical side of why we continue doing what we do. Puts things in more of a perspective when dealing with yourself, your children and others and how changing your mind set and response can also start having a BIG effect on those around you. So I am thankful to have this coarse to be working on me!
On the other hand I personally am still have much struggle with my DMP! Just keep praying and searching myself for being able to put into words “what stirs me” when I read it! Guess this is all apart of the journey. I wish “I got it” on that aspect already, but in due time.
UUUGGGGHHH! Man o Man! Unbelievable how frustrating figuring out how to put into words exactly what I want. You think you know what you want but to put it in with feeling and the proper wording to express to others. I am having a difficult time! Yes, I know that it is all apart of having a plan and breaking through old habits. Possibly I haven’t had definite plans because in life you need to roll with the punches. You never know what might, will and does come. And you can’t be a stick in the mud and not be versatile enough to change with circumstances. Yet I also realize that it has lead my life to more chance than purpose. That I have had to seek and find God’s purpose in what I left to chance. Yes He works all good for those who love Him! Literally thank God! But I see that I could have eliminated quite a bit if they were more purposeful; thoughts and habits that came on my end! Praise God that He is showing me that things can and are changing.
So here I am writing week 3 blog…I don’t have much to say from week 1 and 2! This has been an extremely flesh fighting flesh task. Quitting has never entered my mind. Yet I battle mediocrity and doubt! You know, the whole, is this gonna work for me? Great everyone else seems to be trucking along! I’m obviously stubborn in areas that need to be de and re programmed more than I thought.
I am still plugging along, reading, doing the drills, watching seminars. Even writing this blog to the open air, so that others I don’t know will be “policing” to make sure I have done my duty or else, doesn’t settle well. However, I haven’t experienced a situation quite like this one, and I am pushing through my shell! Hoping for a break through…it will come (ready for it sooner than later). Seems to be that things get messier before they get cleaner and this is another one of those things!
Wow! It has been such a struggle in my flesh and mind. I want the change of de and re programming my mind…i knew and know it will be work. Thing is I did not think that since I am so ready for change that I would have so much resistance within myself.
Confession is good for the soul, so acknowledging the resistance gives more room for growth, right???
Well I will keep plugging and pushing along!
Overload of information. As I am glad to know there is a way to retrain yourself. Myself has battled and struggled with simple things this week. All is a process, and I too know that this will pass, if I keep plugging at it!